In typical Midwestern fashion...I am not comfortable tooting my own horn. Of course, like most human beings, deep down I want "the love." There is that fine line between self-esteem and self-promotion...between confidence and vanity...between celebrating and gloating, and growing up a good German/Catholic girl these little nuances plague me.
So, in accordance with my prescribed upbringing, I guess I would like to announce (and I am not trying to be vain or anything...I just thought you may like to know) that I won this scrapbooking contest thing. I know it is just a scrapbooking contest, but it is not like the scrapbooking that you think of right away (not that there is anything wrong with a different type of scrapbooking), but my scrapbooking is more like graphic art...sorta. Anyway, see, it is this contest that is a really big deal in the scrapping world, so I totally understand if you don't think it is a big deal, but it it this contest called Creating Keepsakes Hall of Fame, and I was one of the 25 winners...so I am considered one of the top scrapbookers in the land (or at least of those that entered...I am sure that there are a TON of people who are better and did not enter...oh yeah, and there are a TON of people who entered who are equally as talented...it was just the luck of the draw.) So anyway, it is pretty cool, I guess. It is not like it is a big deal or anything...I just...well...feel pretty good about it...you know...
How was that? Not too vain? Am I too "full of myself?" I wouldn't want that! ;-) ;-p
OK...in reality...it is satisfying to actually accomplish one of those "lifetime goals." Winning Creating Keepsake's Hall of Fame is one of those goals that I never thought I would accomplish, but I thought it was a nice goal to set for myself...a dream. Three years ago, when I first entered, I thought about how cool I would be if I won that contest. I dreamed of the opportunities I would be handed and the prestige that those around me would acknowledge. So, three years later, and I won! I WON! I WON, I WON, I WON!!!!! (just had to get that out) But, I am not any cooler. I am a little more confident, but I am painfully aware of how fickle the "industry" is, and after working at my LSS, I realize that there is really only a small segment of the population who know what Hall of Fame is and assign any prestige to it. So, in other words, I am a better scrapbooker than I was three years ago. I was lucky enough that the "powers-that-be" thought my style worked with the "vision" for the next year (and it may not be fresh by the time the magazine even comes out), and most of the people I personally know are happy for me, but few people beyond that know or care about some"scrapbooking contest."
No, I am not bitter...not at all, and I really am proud of myself. I like the fact that I am able to put this contest into perspective. I hope that it opens doors for me. I love that this contest has allowed me to get to know some fantastic women in the past and now in the present, but I know it is not the be-all/end-all. I accomplished a goal...now it is on to the next one.
Of course I am not THAT level headed about the whole thing.... every time I think about the fact I actually won, I think
..and yes, that is how I REALLY feel! Some days it is good to be me...(now, if I catch you whispering behind my back...)